LBC - Hari ng Padala

I just received today minutes before 4:00 P.M. an LBC package from my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I have a serious misunderstanding as of the moment. I, being too proud, am not willing to be the first one to make amends. I also feel like she doesn't want to although she already sent me an email a day after the fight. I was late in reading it because I have not opened my email for two days since the incident. So I thought that maybe she does not want to make peace and she wants me to be the first one to make a move. Well, I am very much not that kind of person. Not because I dont want to but because I am ashamed of what I have said. I wish I could just take back all the words that I have said but it is not possible. "Death and Life is the power of your tongue" is what I heard in a seminar I attended. I wish I didn't say those words. It should have been easier for me to make the first move even if I still think that it should be her if those words have not been said. What I have said will be carved in her heart and that will leave a mark that will remain a long time if not forever.

I still dont feel like I should make an effort to reconcile. Maybe still mad about what happened. A little. I am just afraid that talking through the phone is not enough to really solve the problem. It will only allows us to mellow and make us feel that everything is alright. But what really happens is that we only make temporary solution to the problem - not make it disappear. The problem is not only about us having a relationship that is complicated. The real problem is within ourselves that affects the way we handle the relationships. I wish I could just snap my finger and everything will be back to normal.

Thanks to the LBC package I learned a little abouthow she feels as of the moment. Thanks to it I felt a little excitement. Some kind of happy feeling. I am a mad man as of now. As in Crazy. So this kind of things will help me mellow, soften my feelings and my as-of-the-moment-stone-cold heart and make me realize how important she is to me and of course how I love her (still).

I just wish she could wait a little more time, maybe longer, but I think that time is really needed for us to evaluate ourselves as a person, as a partner. Realize our mistakes and maybe know where to improve. I hope I do improve. And maybe just to have some time alone, to have fun, to have solitude, to contemplate and to miss each other. I just hope it turns out to be like that and not the other way around.

Things will be fine...soon.